paradisaic:

I can’t go to parties because I turn into a pumpkin at midnight

116,371 notes

leomanaids:

bitchcraftandwiggatry:

dirudo:

"I’m not rich"

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"But I have a big dick"

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"I don’t have a big dick"

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"But I am rich"

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"I’m rich"

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"And I have a big dick"

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299,924 notes

iphonevevo:

when the person who volunteers to read is completely illiterate   

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(Source: pokemonhub)

275,558 notes
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